Friday, June 24, 2016

Steve Perry and the Brexit

In case you've been living under a rock (or maybe you're too busy answering this ad), Britain voted to leave the European Union by a 51.9% vote (against a 48.1% vote in favor of staying). But what you WON'T find in the press (at least not yet) is where--or with whom--the country will go. Britain may be basking in its short-lived independence, but that will be nothing next to the party that will happen when it joins Steve Perry.

For those of you uninitiated n00bs, Steve Perry is his own sovereign country, which means wherever he is living, that piece of land is Steve Perry country--literally. Wherever he travels, he acts as his own embassy. It's even been reported that one time he got captured in North Korea but was able to extradite himself just ten minutes later because technically both an embassy (Steve Perry) and a foreign ambassador (Steve Perry) were captured, and international law requires immediate release in such cases. And because Kim Jong-un is a HUGE Journey fan. In fact, he pleaded for a private concert just before Steve left the country, which Steve granted BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING GENEROUS LIKE THAT.

Anyway, all that is to say that Steve Perry has the power to absorb Britain, which is exactly what he is going to do. In fact, the contract has already been signed, and Nigel Farage and co. are currently getting weird with Steve. In Buckingham Palace. Because the Queen likes to get down like that, too. Just how weird? Think edibles. Oh, yeah. Those kind of edibles. The British may like to act all proper and goody goody, but don't let that fool you. We're talking Blue Dream crumpets. We're talking Kush Breakfast Tea. We're talking mothafuckin' Oracle biscuits because THE BRITISH POUND JUST GOT 1972 ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER MR. OLYMPIA-TYPES OF STRONG. All due to the generosity and love of one man:

Look at that truth in his eyes.
Image courtesy of hennemusic,com

Just know that if you have any upcoming trips to Britain, they just got a whole lot sexier. 

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

It's Back? It's Back.

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. This is a new post. The first of many. After five long years, baby, I want to make it work.

Now you might be asking yourself, why, after all this time, is this blog being resurrected? It's quite simple: since 2011, the world has grown increasingly ridiculous. Sure, there were some shenanigans back then, but now it's like they're on steroids. Donald Trump is a serious contender for the next POTUS. Kids are falling into gat-dayum gorilla pits. I'm watching (and enjoying) professional wrestling. The world is basically Thunder Dome, but with smartphones and computers. And now, more than ever, there is room for Steve Perry's insanity. Besides, I miss him. You miss him (admit it). He left a hole that just can't be filled. So I'm bringing him back to fill your hole. You're welcome.

You know you missed looking into these babies.
Image courtesy of

Friday, February 25, 2011

One More Thing...

Okay, I couldn't not post this. Remember that Google "Parisian Love" commercial? Well, I just found out you can create your own, and, naturally, I had to do one for Steve Perry. Consider this a parting gift. You're welcome.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Party's Over

I've been toying with this idea for weeks now, and I believe the time has come for me to bid adieu. While writing about the shenanigans of Steve Perry, Neal Schon and Journey has been a blast, I have to recognize that the party's over. My reservoir of ridiculousness has finally dried up, and all of the ideas I've been generating have been poor imitations of previous posts.

But just because I won't be adding any new posts doesn't mean that this website will disappear from the internets. Are you kidding me? I still plan on keeping the domain name current so you can revisit past posts and (hopefully) still get a chuckle.

I want to thank you guys, the readers. Thank you for taking the time out to read my ridiculousness, for sharing videos, interviews and news stories. Thank you for comments on my posts, and thank you for taking the time out to send an email my way. Thank you for spreading the Steve Perry goodness, whether you told somebody about this blog, or linked to it in a forum. THANK YOU. The best part about writing this blog was interacting with those who have read it. You guys rock.

Last, but surely not least, I'd like to thank Steve Perry. You don't have a clue that this blog exists, but if you didn't exist, then it surely wouldn't have been able to. Thank you for sharing your voice with us, for being part of Journey, and for your gorgeous man-hair and impossibly tight pants. If you ever want to get matching tattoos, hit me up. My email is in the sidebar.

Don't Stop Believin'.

BOOM. You just got Journey-ed.

Okay, I don't know how to end this post.

Okay, I'm just going to end it.





Peace Out,


P.S. So, what will I be doing? Will I be relaxing on a beautiful beach in Hawaii, drinking pina coladas and fawning over a hot cabana boy? NO! I'll still be around at my other blog, That's What She Said. Stop by if you're bored.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day Treats

In honor of this love-ly (see what I did there?) holiday, I've compiled a set of videos designed to set your heart on fire and make you curse the fact that you are not "going steady" with Steve Perry. So close your eyes, grab a glass of wine and a box of chocolates, and imagine that he's singing to/about you.

Question: Do you think Steve Perry is the type of man who would go to Jared?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Pop Quiz

Who is "The Situation?"

Answer: Steve Perry. 'Cause he creates a sexy situation. In your pants. If ya know what I mean. If you pointed to the guy above Steve Perry, go to a chalkboard and write, "I will never defecate on Steve Perry's greatness ever again" 50,000,000 times. Be sure to write small so all 50,000,000 sentences will fit.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Guess What?!

No, I did not meet Steve Perry, or even anybody that looks like Steve Perry. 'Cause if I did, the title of this post would be, "I MET STEVE FUCKING PERRY!" since I wouldn't be able to contain my excitement and build up the suspense. No, what actually happened is a lot more underwhelming but just as exciting.

What? That didn't make any sense. Anyway, I was trolling YouTube for a random clip of either Journey or Steve Perry or Steve and Neal acting gay around each other, and found this.

JOURNEY HAS ITS OWN YOUTUBE CHANNEL! Okay, in actuality, Journey could have had its own YouTube channel since 2005, but this is the first I've heard of it, SO I'M STILL EXCITED. Finally, all of Journey's music videos in once easy-to-access spot! Is it my birthday? No! It's Seth Green's!


EDIT: Okay, so it appears that many of the "music videos" are crappy slideshows set to Journey music that Vevo happened to compile. Way to go, Vevo.