Part one of this answer is that I was bored and needed something to do during my downtime at work. Part two of this answer is this video:
Those bedroom eyes. Those sweet dance moves. That groovy outfit. The voice that is smooth as butter. And of course--the gorgeous man-hair. Steve Perry is making love to the camera, and, by default, making love to all of us simultaneously. Which is why Steve Perry is the single greatest human being ever to grace the earth. Ever.
Steve Perry's sexual prowess is unprecedented. He is the only man with the ability to:
1) Make love to millions simultaneously.
2)Conduct said love-making via YouTube through videos that showcase his powerful pipes and gorgeous man-hair.
3) Conduct said love-making without making physical contact and without the need to use condoms or birth control.
4) Giving all the pleasure without a single pregnancy scare.
Because of this Steve Perry is truly the "Lover of Many, Father of None." It is known that anybody who views a Steve Perry video will have a Perry-Induced Orgasm within thirty seconds. Better than porn, Steve Perry videos are a surefire bet and they're the reason that your significant other spends so much time at the computer. A curious side effect of the Perry-Induced Orgasm (referred to here on out as a PIO) is that men who experience it don't question their sexuality. In fact, they view PIOs as making them even more of a man, and after the experience, they are known to grunt, drink hard liquor and pointlessly lift heavy objects in an attempt to convey just how manly they are.
There is truly nobody else like Steve Perry, and this is why I have dedicated an entire blog to his awesomeness. So check back often for fun facts, videos, and pictures, and get ready to have a PIO or two.
Don't Stop Believin,'
*Disclaimer: This blog is in no way affiliated with Steve Perry or Journey (although if it were, I'm sure both he and the band would think it was awesome). I do not know Steve Perry or any members of Journey, and do not own the rights to either likeness. I'm just a girl who thinks Steve Perry and Journey are wicked awesome.