Wednesday, April 22, 2009

New Study Shows that Steve Perry Increases Virility in Men

Johns Hopkins University just wrapped up a study that found that men who listen to Journey (or Steve Perry solo) are 83% more virile than those who do not. Apparently a sound wave-born molecule specific to only Steve Perry's voice that scientists have named "Perrytane" travels down the ear canal and eventually mixes with the bloodstream where it travels to the penis, resulting in an increased amount of virility.

One of the scientists working on the study, who wished to remain anonymous, credited this phenomenon to the unexpected multiple births his wife gave two years ago.

"While we were conceiving what we thought was going to be our second child, I put on a Journey CD to help set the mood," he said. "You could imagine our surprise when we went in for the ultrasound and found out we weren't pregnant with one child but seven. She didn't even undergo any kind of fertility treatment!"

Scientists are currently conducting a follow-up study to see the effect the Perrytane molecule has on women.

P.S.: Everything you just read is a LIE.


  1. "P.S.: Everything you just read is a LIE."

    Nooooo! I'm convinced that this needs to be studied. For reals.

  2. Yep ... Perry moans.