Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Why Steve Perry Should Be An Action Movie Star
We all know that Steve Perry kicks ass, both in the bedroom and on the stage. But I'm willing to bet that he could literally kick ass, and there is no better medium in which to showcase those skills than the action movie.
Now I'm sure that even the most devoted SP fans might disagree at first. But before you get all in an uproar, let me first say: I'm not stupid. I realize that Steve Perry is no Jean-Claude Van Damme. He's no Jackie Chan. I know this.
The particular brand of action star I had in mind for our friend Steve is more of the Shaft-type of character--the smooth-talking badass that can handle a gun the same way he handles his woman: loving, yet agile and deadly. What Horatio Cane could be like if David Caruso knew how to act. Between making love and scouring thrift stores for his signature stylish, yet recession-friendly, outfits, he's capping motherfuckers and saving the world. As he takes down his opponents he'll say stuff like, "There'll be a lot of screaming where you're about to go." While seducing women, he'll whisper, "Get ready for the tremblin', girl, 'cause your world is about to get rocked."
If this movie were made, I'd definitely think it would be a summer box office smash. Iron Man who? I'm going to see Steve Perry save the world!
Image borrowed from http://farm1.static.flickr.com/41/81532850_d3fb59717e.jpg?v=0