Friday, May 8, 2009

Steve Perry Can Cure World Hunger...As Well as Life-Threatening Diseases and Other Catastrophes

More and more evidence has been cropping up as of late that Steve Perry has the power to single-handedly cure world hunger, AIDS, America's obsession with The Hills and anything else falling into the life-threatening disease/catastrophe category. I don't know how he could do it--I've heard murmurs that the power lies simply lies within him; he only has to will these things away and it would be done--but I believe it.

After all, studies have shown that he has the power to cure swine flu, make men more virile and father children by pure magic (although he chooses not to, as there can only be one Steve Perry). Why not be able to end widespread famine and crappy reality shows?

As another fan so articulately put it, "The awesomeness of Steve Perry’s voice will carry through the entire world and will better humanity in every sense of the word. Babies will no longer be hungry, famine will no longer devastate, floods will no longer strike the land. His voice makes the world brighter and mankind more giving."

So why hasn't he chosen to use his power and cure the world of everything evil? Perhaps it's because even he doesn't know the sheer depth of his potential. Maybe he's learning something new about himself everyday that blows his mind and someday he'll learn about this. In the meantime, though, let's try to speed it along.

Steve: you can do it. The power lies within you. Look no further than yourself.


  1. No wonder he has no time to record anything new, he's too busy saving the world. We need to do everything we can to lessen the load he is carrying. I think I'll plant a pear tree in his honor, just to make the world a little brighter.

  2. I've been using those eco-friendly bags whenever I go grocery shopping...

  3. I always forget my bags, especially when I shop at Ikea. Maybe if I made my own bags with hot Steve Perry photos, I could be more friendly to the earth. (and amuse my fellow shoppers)

  4. Thanks for the photo - never saw this one before. Love it - and the hair/gasm.