Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Steve Perry is a Sun God

So I realize that the last few posts have been about "Don't Stop Believin'," and while that's a brilliant song, probably deserving of its own blog, I've steered off-course somewhat from the true subject of this blog: Tom Selleck.

I kid, I kid. YouTubing the intro to Magnum, p.i. at work has me in a Tom Selleck frame of mind. We're all here to talk about Steve Perry, of course (But since Tom Selleck did get awesome is his 'stache?). And since summer is almost here, I thought I would post about Steve Perry being a sun god.

Now you may be scratching your noggin and saying, "What? Steve Perry is a sun god? I knew of his ability to cure disease and sex up millions of women (and men!) at the same time, but this is new to me."

Well, allow me to school you. Steve Perry is a sun god. Steve just laughs at all those good-natured people trying to educate others about the damaging effects of UVA and UVB rays and the importance of sunscreen that comes with the advent of summer. You know why? First, he's Portugese, and it's pretty safe to assume that every Portugese person is born with a base tan, their own built-in supply of at least SPF 15, if you will. Second, he's STEVE FUCKING PERRY. He's not like the rest of the Portugese common folk. His skin is genetically engineered with a shield of SPF 85, and because of this, he doesn't need sunblock. Ever. He can never get sunburned, and on the flip side, he can never get pale because his skin is made in such a way that leaves him with a healthy, sunkissed glow all year long.

The verdict: he's a sun god if I've ever seen one. And I've seen one. His name is Steve Perry.


  1. After the hair, his sunkissed beauty is what attracted me. I can picture him on a hot day, repairing turkey coops while the sun beats down on his golden glowing skin. Hair blowing softly in the breeze while he sips lemonade or a lite beer. SIGHI'm so glad you brought up Magnum, one of the most Yacht-Rocking TV shows ever!

  2. Obviously I was so flustered by Steve Perry's Sun God spell, that I forgot how to space.

  3. Haha, he has that effect on people. And although he has no use for sunscreen or tanning oil, I imagine if you spotted him on a beach, he'd ask you to do his back. ;-)

  4. He's old enough to be my Dad, but I'd gladly slather the Coppertone all over him.