"What does this made up holiday have to do with Steve Perry?" you might be asking yourself. "It just sounds like some fool-hardy shenanigan the kids taking part in."
Well, dear reader, let me clue you in: Steve Perry, in his infinite and awesome Perryness, is plugged in to what the kids are doing these days (see my posts about his iTunes playlist and his being a fan of Outkast if you don't believe me). It's what makes him hip and relevant, so you know that he'll be raising a glass or two this weekend. He'll take part in the festivities with the enthusiasm of man forty years his junior--and be able to party harder. I mean, it's Steve Perry--the name itself conjures up a man who is pure magic! Steve could chug five Irish Car Bombs and down three tequila shots and still be sober enough to be a designated driver. When he participates in a keg stand, he drinks the whole keg and finishes with an exquisite and perfectly-pitched performance of "Be Good to Yourself." And don't even bother going to head-to-head with him in Beer Pong--he'll win every goddamn time.
And ladies--unlike most men, alcohol doesn't affect Steve's performance, if you know what I mean. He might have you wait until he finishes his Guinness, but afterwards, you can be sure that you'll be treated to the most energetic, Perry-induced-orgasmic lovemaking you'll ever have. You might be rendered slightly retarded and walk a little funny afterwards, but it'll be worth it. And for those who aren't with him physically--you'll still get his PIOs. He's just that good.
Pedamundo won't know what hit it after Hurricane Perry makes landfall. All it will see are the effects of the storm: very satisfied women, a critical shortage of alcohol and a pair of nut-cruncher jeans. That's just how Steve rolls.