Friday, June 12, 2009

Even Steve Perry is Getting in on the Pedamundo Action!

If any of you have been on Twitter at all within the past few days, you might have noticed "Pedamundo" on the list of trending topics. If you don't know what it is, it is a fake holiday created by John Mayer (@johncmayer) based on a Spanish word he made up to mean "drunken party world." It takes place the weekend before Father's Day, starting tonight, and is the latest buzz on the internet. In short: it's our generation's Festivus.

"What does this made up holiday have to do with Steve Perry?" you might be asking yourself. "It just sounds like some fool-hardy shenanigan the kids taking part in."

Well, dear reader, let me clue you in: Steve Perry, in his infinite and awesome Perryness, is plugged in to what the kids are doing these days (see my posts about his iTunes playlist and his being a fan of Outkast if you don't believe me). It's what makes him hip and relevant, so you know that he'll be raising a glass or two this weekend. He'll take part in the festivities with the enthusiasm of man forty years his junior--and be able to party harder. I mean, it's Steve Perry--the name itself conjures up a man who is pure magic! Steve could chug five Irish Car Bombs and down three tequila shots and still be sober enough to be a designated driver. When he participates in a keg stand, he drinks the whole keg and finishes with an exquisite and perfectly-pitched performance of "Be Good to Yourself." And don't even bother going to head-to-head with him in Beer Pong--he'll win every goddamn time.

And ladies--unlike most men, alcohol doesn't affect Steve's performance, if you know what I mean. He might have you wait until he finishes his Guinness, but afterwards, you can be sure that you'll be treated to the most energetic, Perry-induced-orgasmic lovemaking you'll ever have. You might be rendered slightly retarded and walk a little funny afterwards, but it'll be worth it. And for those who aren't with him physically--you'll still get his PIOs. He's just that good.

Pedamundo won't know what hit it after Hurricane Perry makes landfall. All it will see are the effects of the storm: very satisfied women, a critical shortage of alcohol and a pair of nut-cruncher jeans. That's just how Steve rolls.

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