Saturday, March 28, 2009

PIO Alert!

I know what you're thinking when you first saw this entry.

First: "Woah! Different picture formatting! I don't know what to do! Am I up or down? Can I tell my asshole from my mouth?! Am I high again? This is crazy!"

Second: "Is that Steve Perry and John Bon Jovi singing together? Sharing a stage and musically communicating to the masses, showcasing their incomparable awesomeness?! How did I not know this compilation existed? Am I a communist?"

First of all, yes, you are a communist and you have one of two options: a) just end it right now via your car, your garage and Wheel in the Sky playing non-stop on your CD player. Or b) don't kill yourself and just spend the next two weeks listening to nothing but Journey and Steve Perry's solo albums until you know every song more intimately than your lover's body.

Second of all, yes, Steve and John Bon Jovi did team up to perform a little ditty called Bring it on Home. And because I'm nice, I included the audio link from YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pUu5yPBuM8

Enjoy, and wait for the PIOs that are bound to come.

Image borrowed from www.websitetoolbox.com

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Seen and Heard: Journey Bringing People Together

Location: One Qdoba restaurant in Louisville, KY

Heard: Don't Stop Believin'

Seen: One blonde-haired, slightly pudgy boy singing along like nobody's business.

Verdict: No matter what their backgrounds, belief systems, class, morals or musical tastes, Journey brings people together. Start singing Don't Stop Believin' in a room filled with total strangers and soon you'll be exchanging anecdotes about "the old ball and chain" and how public schools do more for children's characters than a fancy overpriced private school would. No lie.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Steve Perry: The Ultimate Psyche Out

While surfing through YouTube once upon a time (yesterday), I ran across this clip from a cinematic feature called BASEket Ball:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4zUHIa2RSc

It got me thinking: what if the Steve Perry Psyche Out was allowed during March Madness? I can just imagine the commentary: "Ooohhh! Number 34 from Kansas unleashes the Steve Perry Psyche Out on number #17 on North Dakota! That's gonna be hard to come back from."

Cutthroat. If the NCAA allowed the Steve Perry Psyche Out, the March Madness games would garner more viewers than the Superbowl.

Just one more talent of this multifaceted man.

PIOs In Action

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBJBBwM9dXY

Right after the camera was cut off, everybody's heads exploded.

P.S. Check out the man-hair. Glorious.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Why Pantene Should Sign Steve Perry

We must now turn our attention to Steve Perry's glorious man-hair and why Pantene should sign him on to its ad campaign. Exhibit A:


Just look at how the sun glistens off those locks! And I'm willing to bet there's not a split end to be had. It also looks like it's virgin hair--not a chemical has ever made contact with those precious tresses.

Exhibit B:

Even the crappy camera quality cannot stop the shine from burning your eyes. You thought you had nice hair? Oh, Mistaken One. I hope your ignorance brings shame to your family.

Now just think of all the lettuce the Pantene folks could be swimming in if they signed Steve on to sell their products. Shampoos and conditioners would literally fly off the shelves! Everybody would be trying to get a head of Perry-like hair of their very own! Pantene, what are you waiting for?
*Image borrowed from wordm7.files.wordpress.com

Steve (and His Shockingly Tight Pants) Defy Medical Research






Despite medical research supporting the contrary, Steve Perry gives everybody the big ol' finger and keeps his junk snug up against him. Such tight pants would surely have defeated lesser men, but not Steve. Besides, if he ever wanted to father children, he wouldn't let tight jeans stand in his way. After all, who needs things like sperm when you're Steve Perry? He's able to father children by pure magic. But he hasn't because the world just isn't ready.

*Image borrowed from www.ultimatemetal.com

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

What's the Inspiration for This Blog?

Part one of this answer is that I was bored and needed something to do during my downtime at work. Part two of this answer is this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7jr9WBDVXQ

Those bedroom eyes. Those sweet dance moves. That groovy outfit. The voice that is smooth as butter. And of course--the gorgeous man-hair. Steve Perry is making love to the camera, and, by default, making love to all of us simultaneously. Which is why Steve Perry is the single greatest human being ever to grace the earth. Ever.

Steve Perry's sexual prowess is unprecedented. He is the only man with the ability to:

1) Make love to millions simultaneously.

2)Conduct said love-making via YouTube through videos that showcase his powerful pipes and gorgeous man-hair.

3) Conduct said love-making without making physical contact and without the need to use condoms or birth control.

4) Giving all the pleasure without a single pregnancy scare.

Because of this Steve Perry is truly the "Lover of Many, Father of None." It is known that anybody who views a Steve Perry video will have a Perry-Induced Orgasm within thirty seconds. Better than porn, Steve Perry videos are a surefire bet and they're the reason that your significant other spends so much time at the computer. A curious side effect of the Perry-Induced Orgasm (referred to here on out as a PIO) is that men who experience it don't question their sexuality. In fact, they view PIOs as making them even more of a man, and after the experience, they are known to grunt, drink hard liquor and pointlessly lift heavy objects in an attempt to convey just how manly they are.

There is truly nobody else like Steve Perry, and this is why I have dedicated an entire blog to his awesomeness. So check back often for fun facts, videos, and pictures, and get ready to have a PIO or two.

Don't Stop Believin,'

SVB

*Disclaimer: This blog is in no way affiliated with Steve Perry or Journey (although if it were, I'm sure both he and the band would think it was awesome). I do not know Steve Perry or any members of Journey, and do not own the rights to either likeness. I'm just a girl who thinks Steve Perry and Journey are wicked awesome.