Thursday, April 30, 2009

Seen and Heard

Location: My apartment. More specifically, my television. Today Show

Heard: "Mother, Father" playing during one of the plaza shots

I would have posted this earlier, but I thought it better to first address more important topics, such as Steve Perry's ability to cure swine flu and his action star potential. I love hearing a Journey tune when I'm least expecting it, and on Monday I had an extra surprise when the tune heard was one of their less-popular ones. Matt, Meredith, Al and Ann already rock my socks, but hearing "Mother, Father" on Monday's episode of Today made me an even bigger fan of the show and put me in the greatest mood to start off my work week.

Like a reader commented, hearing Journey=instant happy.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Why Steve Perry Should Be An Action Movie Star


We all know that Steve Perry kicks ass, both in the bedroom and on the stage. But I'm willing to bet that he could literally kick ass, and there is no better medium in which to showcase those skills than the action movie.

Now I'm sure that even the most devoted SP fans might disagree at first. But before you get all in an uproar, let me first say: I'm not stupid. I realize that Steve Perry is no Jean-Claude Van Damme. He's no Jackie Chan. I know this.

The particular brand of action star I had in mind for our friend Steve is more of the Shaft-type of character--the smooth-talking badass that can handle a gun the same way he handles his woman: loving, yet agile and deadly. What Horatio Cane could be like if David Caruso knew how to act. Between making love and scouring thrift stores for his signature stylish, yet recession-friendly, outfits, he's capping motherfuckers and saving the world. As he takes down his opponents he'll say stuff like, "There'll be a lot of screaming where you're about to go." While seducing women, he'll whisper, "Get ready for the tremblin', girl, 'cause your world is about to get rocked."

If this movie were made, I'd definitely think it would be a summer box office smash. Iron Man who? I'm going to see Steve Perry save the world!

Image borrowed from http://farm1.static.flickr.com/41/81532850_d3fb59717e.jpg?v=0

Swine Flu Cure May Have Been Found

While results have yet to be 100% confirmed, reports say that the World Health Organization may have found a cure for the swine flu. Apparently several doctors in Mexico have started using a controversial treatment on swine flu patients with positive results. The patients are to sit in a room by themselves while classic Journey tunes such as "Only the Young" and "Lights" are pumped through speakers located in the ceiling. Doctors can't say for sure, but something in the sound waves emitted from Journey music cause the symptoms of swine flu to decrease significantly. Many patients' fevers are said to have broken and chills are said to have subsided.

"It's amazing!" gushed one doctor, who wished to remain anonymous. "I've always loved classic rock--Journey especially. Who would have thought that my favorite band would also be the one to save us from this pandemic?"

"It was weird," said a treated patient, wishing to remain anonymous. "Almost as soon as I heard Steve Perry's voice, I felt calmer and less sick. It's almost as if the virus that riddled my body stopped to listen."

Experiments are still being conducted, but doctors seem to think that listening to Journey music for thirty minutes is all it takes to combat the flu. Those that have been treated have yet to relapse, causing WHO officials to think that maybe a cure is on the horizon.

"We can't confirm anything just yet," said a WHO spokesman, "but we should know something by the end of today or early tomorrow. If this turns out to be the real thing," he added, "this would be the biggest breakthrough in medical history."

Like they say, prevention is best, so to make sure you don't come with the swine flu in the first place, dig out your Journey CDs and start listening now. Put them on constant rotation if you have to. Methinks an extra-large PIO would help your cause as well.

And don't go to Mexico. Duh.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Seen and Heard

As I was enjoying the classic 80s tunes VH-1C was pumping and sipping my creme brulee-flavored caffinated beverage, I heard an all-too familiar tune--and jumped for joy. During commercial break, FYE aired its commercial for its over-priced classic CDs with "Don't Stop Believin'" as the background music.

Lemme tell ya, FYE knows how to move CDs off its shelves. I never buy anything from that store because its prices are always double what you can find in Target or Wal-Mart (or even Best Buy sometimes) but I am seriously considering purchasing something just because they used that song in their commercial. Smart advertising--Steve Perry sells shit.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Seen and Heard

Location: Mangroves Bar in Tampa, FL

Heard: Don't Stop Believin' by the bar vocalist

Happy hour. The drinks were flowing, conversation was slurring, a good time was being had by all. The night was definitely shaping up to be a 10 when something happened to launch it to a 10 million-plus-infinity. The bar vocalist, a very sweet girl with an awesome voice, announced, "I think it's time for a little Journey," and began her rendition of "Don't Stop Believin'."

Amazing. Nothing like hearing a little Journey during happy hour. In fact, it should be mandatory. Even if you're at a happy hour that makes watching paint peel look like an awesomely good time, if you were to hear a Journey tune, the night would instantly turn around.

Journey: a happy hour necessity.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

New Study Shows that Steve Perry Increases Virility in Men

Johns Hopkins University just wrapped up a study that found that men who listen to Journey (or Steve Perry solo) are 83% more virile than those who do not. Apparently a sound wave-born molecule specific to only Steve Perry's voice that scientists have named "Perrytane" travels down the ear canal and eventually mixes with the bloodstream where it travels to the penis, resulting in an increased amount of virility.

One of the scientists working on the study, who wished to remain anonymous, credited this phenomenon to the unexpected multiple births his wife gave two years ago.

"While we were conceiving what we thought was going to be our second child, I put on a Journey CD to help set the mood," he said. "You could imagine our surprise when we went in for the ultrasound and found out we weren't pregnant with one child but seven. She didn't even undergo any kind of fertility treatment!"

Scientists are currently conducting a follow-up study to see the effect the Perrytane molecule has on women.

P.S.: Everything you just read is a LIE.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Reason #300,148,901 Why Steve Perry is a God Among Men



In addition to being able to make love to millions through the magic of YouTube and other sites that upload Journey music videos and having a voice that could melt butter that's already been melted, Steve Perry manages to solidify his god-like status among us mere mortals through a more obvious route: fashion.

Let's be honest. None of us could pull a Steve Perry outfit together and look the least bit cool. We'd look like total morons, like people who are desperately trying to keep up with fashion's trend of recycling clothes from years past, calling them "vintage"--and failing. Our parents would disown us and our friends would punch us in our sad faces.

Steve Perry is a different story. Whether it's suspenders paired with a snazzy graphic wife-beater and distressed jeans, snug-fitting black pants and a knotted red shirt (with nothing on underneath!) or jeans so tight they could smother your unborn children, it comes off as effortlessly cool. Sexy. Like the most natural thing a person could be wearing. Steve Perry's clothes give off their own pheromones, causing panties to just disappear from women--and men.

It's unreal, the phenomenon Steve Perry's outfits have on the rest of the human race. Scientists can't explain it. Women can't resist it. And the rest of us will just have to be content with the fact that no matter how successful, good-looking, wealthy or wise we may be, it will be but a microscopic shard in the face of Steve Perry's greatness.

Image borrowed from blogs.sltrib.com

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Journey Radio Station

If you need something to get you through the rest of the work day, a co-worker of mine created a Journey radio station on Pandora. Just click on the link below to be blown away by Steve Perry:

http://www.pandora.com/?sc=sh90657920647938128

If you don't already have a Pandora account, you will need to create one in order to listen to the station. But it's free, so it's worth it.

Special thanks to Taylor for setting it up!

FOX Loves Steve Perry!

The more I watch FOX, the more I'm convinced that somebody over there loves himself some Steve Perry. First there was the preview for Glee with "Don't Stop Believin'". And last night, during Idol, I saw this commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y2-uHV4j1w

How awesome is this? I have no desire to switch to AT&T, but this commercial made me briefly second-guess my relationship with T-Mobile. T-Mobile doesn't employ Journey songs in its commercials. Maybe a company who does will be better able to take care of my wireless needs. Who knows.

Speaking of Idol, when will we see a Journey/Steve Perry week? I would like to see what Adam Lambert could do with "Oh Sherrie."

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Steve Perry is Making Love to You...


It's 4:30p.m. You're at work. You're antsy, bored and ready to get the hell home. But let's be honest: you also need to get laid. Like, NOW. But you can't really do anything at work, lest you get slapped with a sexual harrassment lawsuit or written up for indecent/lewd exposure/conduct. You need to be discreet.


That's where the above picture comes in. Just look at those bedroom eyes. And they're meant for you, lover. Yes, you. Take it up a notch and pull up YouTube. Search for "Lights." Listen as those sweet melodies and Steve's smooth vocals invade your ears and head right into your cerebellum--and your heart. You feel that? Now we're talkin'.


Close your eyes. Revel in the music. Open your eyes and stare at Steve mooning all over you.
And wait for the PIO.



You're welcome.

Image borrowed from the Steve Perry (Journey) fan page on Facebook

Monday, April 13, 2009

Shades of Perry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMLnhYqjvQw

As somebody astutely pointed out in the Steve Perry Easter entry, the above commercial eerily relates back to our favorite Journey frontman. I know what you're thinking: "But SVB, what can a Pantene commercial featuring Stacy London possibly have to do with Steve Perry?"

First, it's a Pantene commercial. I mean, duh. Considering Steve Perry has the most luminous man-hair in the history of mankind, it's only fitting that a shampoo commercial evoke shades of Perry.

Second, think back to all of the Journey music videos you've ever watched. Think about Steve's outfits. Still scratching your head and saying, "What the fuck?!" Here's your answer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7jr9WBDVXQ

The shiny black locks. The red top. The black pants.

STACY LONDON IS ROCKING THE STEVE PERRY LOOK FROM LOVIN', TOUCHIN', SQUEEZIN'!

It all relates back to Steve.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Seen and Heard

Well, more like seen. This link was posted in a comment in the previous entry, but it was so awesome that it deserves its own entry.

Steve Perry was interviewed in GQ Magazine and you can read it here:

http://men.style.com/gq/blogs/gqeditors/2008/05/foolish-foolish.html

A special thank you and an extra large PIO to the person who provided the link.

New Easter Tradition



I have decided that should I ever have kids (hell, even if I never have kids) I am going to switch things up a bit and start a new Easter tradition. Instead of telling them that the Easter Bunny is going to visit with chocolates and treats, they are going to grow up thinking that it's Steve Perry who makes the rounds. And what will Steve Perry bring for their Easter Baskets? A variety of fine hair care products (perhaps in the Nexxus or Paul Mitchell range, although who knows? That's part of the surprise!); Journey and Steve Perry solo albums; a chocolate likeness of himself; and Cadbury Creme Eggs because those are awesome. Seriously. Every time I eat one I feel as if I'm on a rapid river ride of creamy goodness and chocolatey wonder. But I digress.

Steve Perry Easter. I mean it. I will institute it and it will spread throughout society and become a thing.

Happy Easter.

Image borrowed from www.myspace.com/thelastguyonmyspace

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Single Greatest Steve Perry Reference Ever

"Yo, Steve Perry is the shit, bro!"
--From A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints

The movie wasn't good, but that line alone makes up for it.

Steve Perry is indeed the shit.

Question of the Day

Would you pay $75 for a t-shirt that has a picture of Steve Perry wearing a Journey t-shirt and giving the thumbs-up?

I would.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Reason #5,767,452 why Steve Perry is a God Among Men

First of all, I wish you a mature April Fool's Day. There will be no pranks, no silliness. No false updates like:

-I'm pregnant
-There is a baby alien hibernating under my kitchen sink
-Elvis is indeed alive and just moved in next door
-I'm really a man
-I'm really Steve Perry
-Steve Perry is dead

Got it? No hilarity of any kind. Now, for a few housekeeping items:

-I'm pregnant
-There is a baby alien hibernating under my kitchen sink
-Elvis is indeed alive and just moved in next door
-I'm really a man
-I'm really Steve Perry
-Steve Perry is dead

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's move on to more important things like yet another reason why Steve Perry deserves your undying love and devotion for the rest of your lives and into eternity.

Take the song "Don't Stop Believin'." As I was getting my Idol on last night, I saw a preview for a new show on Fox called Glee. Guess what song was featured in the preview? If you guessed anything but "Don't Stop Believin'" you are truly a moron.

"Don't Stop Believin'" has had a resurgence these past few years. It was on the season finale of The Sopranos, in Hillary Clinton's campaign commercial spoofing the season finale of The Sopranos and is now popping up in the previews for Glee. If you were to count up all of the ass and royalties our boy Steve was rolling in, just from this song alone, it would be a king's ransom.

Further proof of Steve's sexual prowess? Take this quote a good guy friend of mine said during a convo earlier today online:

"I've heard he's a weird-looking fellow (I can't tell, myself) but you are 100% right. I mean, I'd drop dem panties for him. I ain't even gay."

Legendary.