Friday, February 19, 2010

A Steve Perry Skin Care Line? Yes, Please!

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Steve Perry has a complexion that people would murder their best friends for. "What, murder?!" say you. "Have you been watching too many episodes of Snapped?" Maybe I have. But if you wouldn't murder your BFF, you'd at least trip them while they were walking down the sidewalk for a chance to get that Steve Perry glow. (You know you would, don't play like you wouldn't.) I heard a quote, and for the life of me, I cannot remember who said it, or where I read it, or where I heard it, but it went something like this: "Steve Perry has been thirty years old for the past thirty years." SO. TRUE. The man is ageless. Look at any recent picture of Steve, and you'll see that even though he's in his sixties, he doesn't look that much different than he did during his Journey days. So what's the deal? Has he been making secret pilgrimages to St. Augustine to choke down the fetid water in the so-called Fountain of Youth?

Sigh. No, Grasshopper. First, have you been to the Fountain of Youth in St. Augustine? Anyone who actually drank from it would definitely catch something, and it wouldn't be youth. Shit's nasty. Second, (and if you've read even two posts from this blog, you'll see where I'm going immediately) Steve Perry looks like he does because he's Portuguese and Steve Perry. However, just like with his hair, I think he has the opportunity to tap into a currently untapped market and partner with either Nutrogena or Clinique and come out with his own skin care line. Just think about it! Facial and body cleansers! Lotions! Eye creams! Serums! Yes, you wouldn't get the magic that is his exact complexion, but your face and overall skin would probably look a helluva lot better than it does now. And, just as I said in the hair post, your complexion would definitely look better than your friends', which is probably the most important thing, am I right? You bet your sweet ass I am.

So, Steve, what's the holdup? You're sitting on yet another goldmine and you don't even know it! Come on, you magnificent bastard, and bestow upon us a little of that youthfulness!

If Steve did come out with a skin care line, what do you think he'd call it? My guess is Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin', because after using the products, people will want to love, touch and squeeze you.

3 comments:

  1. "First, have you been to the Fountain of Youth in St. Augustine? Anyone who actually drank from it would definitely catch something, and it wouldn't be youth." Bwahah! I HAVE been there and it is SO true.

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  2. I don't think you'd want the word "squeezing" in the name of a skincare line. Sayin'. Eew.

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  3. Oddly enough....Sherrie Swafford has a skincare line. This is true, I swear! Skincare by Sherrie. Yes, THAT Sherrie. I'm just sayin'.....

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