Friday, April 9, 2010

An Alliance?

Remember how when the iPad came out, every Apple store in America looked like every hardware store in Florida two days before a hurricane landing? Well, you wanna know who did not have to wake up at an ungodly hour just to get a good spot in a line so he could get his supple and well-manicured hands on one of those damn machines? Yep, you guessed it--Steve Perry. If that doesn't make you green with envy and warm with a lukewarm hatred (because, let's face it, you are physically unable to fully hate SP--I mean, he's just too awesome and sexy), then this will: the man was typing, surfing the internet, and doing whatever the hell else people do with iPads a full year before the thing was released to the public. Wanna know why? (And, no, it's not because Steve Jobs is a HUGE Journey fan with a wicked man-crush on SP.)

Steve Perry and Steve Jobs have formed an alliance. More specifically, an alliance designed to take over the world and turn us into a species of Steve Perry-loving, Oh Sherrie-singing, Apple gizmo-using beings. Think about it: Steve Perry's hypnotic effect on music lovers, hair care appreciators and women. Steve Jobs' ability to make people salivate like Pavlov's dogs at the mere thought of an Apple product, new or old. Steve Perry is doing more than just reveling in how cool his new iPad is. He's using that bitch to share documents with Jobs, outlining step-by-step their execution for world domination, and setting up rendezvous with "interested persons" via his cool and sexy iPhone. We don't stand a fucking chance.

Prepare yourselves now, people, because when December 21, 2012 rolls around, the Steves will put their plan into full effect and the world as we know it will officially end. (Yep, that's why the Mayan calendar ended--they knew what was up.)


  1. Hmm. Mayans. Long, thick, glossy black hair, didn't they have? Just where does this story really begin? And /when/?

  2. Exactly. This plan has been long--LONG--in the making.

  3. hey nice blog. I'm a Journey\Steve Perry lover. I was on your blog a couple of days ago and saw what was a new or semi new picture of The Voice himself. Now I cant find it and I'm pissed. Could you tell me where to find it? Also what are your thoughts on the Steve Perry and Sarah Slivermen argument? If you haven't heard yet here's a link to read about it. And Please tell me where to find the new picture of Steve Perry!!!!!

  4. Hey JourneyGirl--

    Glad you're enjoying the blog. It's always good to hear that I'm amusing somebody besides myself with my BS. :-) As to the picture--can you be a little more specific as to what it was? What was Steve doing in it? Do you remember the post that went along with it? I kind of lose track of all the pictures I post, but if you could give me more details, I'd be happy to look it up for you.

    I have heard about the whole Steve Perry/Sarah Silverman issue. In fact, I read it on my friend Deb's blog, Chosen Madness. Go to and scroll down to the post titled, "Steve Perry Would Never Say That." It's a good piece, and the blog in general is great--Deb's a good writer and fellow SP fan herself. As far as MY take on it, I'm taking the whole thing with a grain of salt. I mean, Sarah Silverman's entire career is based on offending people and shock value, so it's quite possible she could be making the whole thing up. But I wasn't privy to the conversation that may or may not have taken place between her and Steve, so he could have said it--only he and Sarah Silverman know what truly went down.