Remember how when the iPad came out, every Apple store in America looked like every hardware store in Florida two days before a hurricane landing? Well, you wanna know who did not have to wake up at an ungodly hour just to get a good spot in a line so he could get his supple and well-manicured hands on one of those damn machines? Yep, you guessed it--Steve Perry. If that doesn't make you green with envy and warm with a lukewarm hatred (because, let's face it, you are physically unable to fully hate SP--I mean, he's just too awesome and sexy), then this will: the man was typing, surfing the internet, and doing whatever the hell else people do with iPads a full year before the thing was released to the public. Wanna know why? (And, no, it's not because Steve Jobs is a HUGE Journey fan with a wicked man-crush on SP.)
Steve Perry and Steve Jobs have formed an alliance. More specifically, an alliance designed to take over the world and turn us into a species of Steve Perry-loving, Oh Sherrie-singing, Apple gizmo-using beings. Think about it: Steve Perry's hypnotic effect on music lovers, hair care appreciators and women. Steve Jobs' ability to make people salivate like Pavlov's dogs at the mere thought of an Apple product, new or old. Steve Perry is doing more than just reveling in how cool his new iPad is. He's using that bitch to share documents with Jobs, outlining step-by-step their execution for world domination, and setting up rendezvous with "interested persons" via his cool and sexy iPhone. We don't stand a fucking chance.
Prepare yourselves now, people, because when December 21, 2012 rolls around, the Steves will put their plan into full effect and the world as we know it will officially end. (Yep, that's why the Mayan calendar ended--they knew what was up.)