Friday, April 16, 2010

Hypnotized!


SVB is temporarily not in control of her body right now; I, Steve Perry, former frontman of Journey, am using her to communicate a very important message, for she is hypnotized, like you will soon be.

Look deep into my eyes. Do not blink. Let them penetrate you. Feel them inside of you and relish the deep, orgasmic pleasure that feeling brings. I know you really want to blink right now, but don't. I know your eyes may be burning because you really really want to blink, but don't. You will miss out on all the pleasure. Good. Now you're getting sleepy, and your defenses are shrinking. This is exactly what I want to happen. Now I have you in my complete control.

First of all, you do not believe Sarah Silverman's claim that I said the n-word during a conversation I had with her after one of her shows. How could I, Steve Perry, former frontman of Journey, say the n-word and tarnish my epic reputation? This is nothing but a fallacy Silverman has spread for comedic effect and to further her career. Believe me, she will pay.

Secondly, I am superior to Neal Schon.

Thirdly, you will go to your nearest Wal-Mart, Target or record store and purchase the re-released Essential Journey, and at precisely 5p.m. today, April 16, 2010, you will blast "Don't Stop Believin'" on high volume wherever you may be: in your car, at your desk, on your stereo at home. Don't ask why. Just do it. Once this is done I will relay to Steve Jobs the progress and work on the next phase of the plan. The fate of the world depends on your cooperation.

Fourthly, you will have a PIO in 5...4...3...2...1. Steve Perry out.


***

Wow, that was weird. Spaced out there for a moment. Hey, wait a minute! When did I by Essential Journey? And why? I already have it!!


*Picture courtesy of the Steve Perry Picasa Web Album. Special thanks to JourneyGirl for sending me the link.

6 comments:

  1. Wha... huh? What happened? I've got Essential Journey too... and why are my panties dropped on the ground?

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  2. First time here. Nice blog! Serena from Barcelona ;)

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  3. Hi Serena,

    Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you're enjoying the blog!

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  4. I love your blog! People treat me like I have a sickness due to my Steve Perry love, but I've been a fan since I used to hear them on the radio as a kid (I'm 33). Thanks for the amusement.

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  5. Hi Claire,

    It is a belief of mine that those who are most vocal about their dislike of Steve Perry and Journey are the ones who love him and the band the most. (Deb of www.chosenmadness.com, also wrote an essay to this effect. It's called "You Love Steve Perry.")

    I'm glad you're enjoying the blog. Thanks for reading!

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