Sunday, June 27, 2010

Question of the Day

How awesome would it be if Peeps issued a Steve Perry Peep?

This isn't even a yes or no question because no doubt about it, a Steve Perry Peep would be awesome as hell. Anybody who thinks otherwise is a douchebag. However, just how awesome it would be is up for debate. I don't even like Peeps, but if they came out with a Steve Perry Peep, I'd spend most of my disposable income buying as much of those little bastards as humanly possible. Just imagine: the glorious man-hair (in marshmallow form)! The vintage Journey outfit! The fact that it's a fucking STEVE PERRY PEEP! Wait a minute, I think I just--yeah. I just had an idea.

What if they came out with Peeps of the whole damn band?

People, this needs to happen. We need to get in touch with Peeps Corporation or Peeps Company or whoever the hell it is that makes Peeps and request Journey Peeps.

What outfits would you like to see the Steve Perry Peep rock? How 'bout the rest of the band?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Yo, Peep 'Dis!

First off, my apologies to anyone who read the title of this post and got all excited, thinking we were about to embark on a fantastical journey (see what I did there?) to the land of the marshmallow treats. Sorry, boo. Go to the grocery store to get your fix. Secondly, I've been meaning to update this blog, but my laziness and Discovery Health documentaries like "The Woman With 15 Personalities" keep distracting me (and I'm sorry, but not even Steve Perry can compete with a woman who has 15 personalities). Luckily, I'm blessed to have a circle of email pals (pen pals of the 21st century, get with the program, people) who a) love Steve Perry just as much as I do, b) are excellent writers and c) sometimes choose to combine the two. One such email pal, Lara, has posted her own Steve Perry essay on her site, Lara's Lane. In addition to being a Steve Perry lover and an excellent writer (which makes her super cool, by the way), she is also a photographer. And, incidentally, she did write a story about Peeps.

Another email pal of mine, Ross Muir of Fabrications, (who is also super cool), just issued a third edition of an eBook he wrote, called One in a Million-A Vocal Analysis of The Voice. For those of you having a hard time keeping up, it's an eBook about Steve Perry. You can download it here.

And, finally, if you haven't done so yet (even though I've linked to it dozens of times--well, maybe not DOZENS, but a few times), check out Chosen Madness, written by yet another super-cool email pal of mine, Deb. It is her own analysis and hyperbole about Steve Perry.

And just because I know you're still not satisfied:

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Takin' it to the Next Level

Hey guys, remember back when I was all about Steve Perry and Neal Schon having a secret bromance and that their "fight" was nothing but a publicity stunt? (See also here and here.) Remember how I also said that after posting that trifecta of IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE I would shut my yap about the subject once and for all? Boy, that sure was funny, right? Good times, yes? And you really didn't want me to shut my yap about it, right? You enjoyed my conspiracy theory, right?

I knew you would. Which is why I'm flappin' my gums about it yet again. You're welcome.

What if Steve and Neal's friendship turned out to be more than just platonic man-love? What if they took their relationship to the next level? You know what I'm talkin' 'bout. I'm talkin' 'bout l-o-v-e. Luurve. Man-love of the non-platonic variety. What if Steve and Neal got all romantical on us? Personally, I think it would be the single greatest love story of our time. It would rival the likes of The Notebook. Love Story. Sleepless in Seattle. Except it would be REAL. Doesn't that concept just blow your frigging mind? Now imagine them taking it to the next step and getting MARRIED. Woah. Just--woah. Their wedding would rival the late Princess Diana's in popularity and overall awesomeness. In fact, I think Steve would grow out his man-hair and don that red flowy blouse he wore in the "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" video just for the occasion. At the reception, he'd serenade Neal with a tearful and particularly touching rendition of "Missing You." The cast of Glee would be the main entertainment. Elton John would have to rewrite "Candle in the Wind" yet again. And yeah, smartasses, I know "Candle in the Wind"--both versions--are about people who have died. But Elton would rewrite it so that the song would accurately reflect the occasion--Neal and Steve's love.

Now just hold up and relax, all you women who harbor fantasies about being Steve Perry's single greatest love in the history of the universe! I'm not saying Steve's gay. I'm just saying that he might be a little gay for Neal. And if he was, would you be able to live with yourself if you prevented such an awesome union from forming? You wouldn't. Because that would make you an asshole. And anybody who is a fan, lover, wannabe lover, or friend of Steve Perry is most certainly not an asshole, am I right? You are just too awesome for that. Besides, look at Steve's face in that picture, at how his eyes are pleading with you to just let it happen--how could you ever deny that?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Tampa Bay Won't Stop Believin'

This photo was taken by my friend Carrie. Awesome, no? You see, we here in the Bay area (the other one) love us some Journey so much that we can't keep it to ourselves. We have to proclaim it on street signs. Some may call it graffiti; we call it love.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

How About That Glee, Hmmm?

I'll admit it: the only reason I started watching Glee in the first place was because the previews last spring had what sounded like (and what turned out to be) an awesome rendition of "Don't Stop Believin'." That's it. It featured Journey, and my line of reasoning was, any television show that incorporated Journey music (and my favorite Journey song of all time--OF ALL TIME) should at least be checked out. And that first episode did not disappoint. In addition to that rendition, Journey was featured all throughout the episode, and after it was over, I had this compulsive need to tune in every week to see what other songs and artists would be featured. During those early episodes, pretty much the only reason why I bothered watching was because of the music (because it was AWESOME, hello); as the show matured and found its stride, I started tuning in for the storytelling as well. And tonight it all culminated into one freaking delicious emotionally-charged season finale WITH Journey (well, Journey music that is--not the actual band, sorry). Friends, I think Glee just earned "must buy on DVD" status. If anything, I'm at least keeping the season finale on my DVR so I can re-watch it all summer long. Whoever composes the music for that show (and the kids who sing it) deserves a freakin' Emmy or Nobel Peace Prize or something because the covers of "Faithfully", "Anyway You Want It", "Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'" and "Don't Stop Believin'" were EPIC. I'm pretty sure Steve Perry himself cried (and gave himself a PIO--it can happen) when he watched it (because you KNOW he did--even a bad ass hermit like him has some curiousity). Don't believe me? Watch it it here (hurry, before Fox realizes this is on YouTube and takes it down)!

P.S. The show will be picked up for at least another season--I think it would be pretty cool if Steve agreed to do a cameo, like appear as the school's janitor or maybe as a celebrity judge for next year's regionals competition. What do you all think?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Secrets Revealed About The Celebrity Apprentice!

No, a hacker did not get hold of this blog and post a crazy SPAM entry. In fact, I'm pretty sure a hacker wouldn't even bother to waste his (or her) time on a crazy blog about Steve Perry because, well, what would he (or she) get out of it, really? But I digress.

So, Donald Trump has added yet another leg to his gargantuan business empire with The Apprentice and The Celebrity Apprentice, inviting the country to watch as he whittles down the pack of contestants foaming at the mouth for the coveted position of working alongside him for a year. It's cutthroat. It's competitive. It stars Donald Trump's hair. But you know what? It's all a big business sham. You wanna know the real secret about The Apprentice franchise? Yeah, you do. You know you do. So I will tell you: Donald Trump is actually The Apprentice. And you know who he works for?

Steve Perry.

Yes, my friends, hate to break it to you, but The Trump is nothing but a puppet and Steve is the Puppet Master. He's the one who calls the shots; Donald's the one who makes things happen. I know, I know. This is just like finding out one of your good friends (or lovers) has a secret double-life and they've been playing you for a fool all these years. You might be enraged. You might want to cry. You might not actually give a damn one way or the other. Just remember this: things are never what they seem. Even the all-powerful Wizard had a man behind the curtain.

P.S. There's no rhyme or reason behind my posting that particular picture of Trump other than I thought it was funny watching him stuff his pie hole with that ice cream treat. Get it, boo!