Friday, August 20, 2010

Farewell, Sweet Summer

So as we're enjoying these last fleeting weeks of sweet, sweet summer and getting ready to usher in the fall, there's probably one burning question on everyone's minds: how did Steve Perry spend his summer?

The short answer is, he spent it being way more awesome than you. That is not intended to hurt your feelings; it is simply a cold, hard fact. The long answer is thus:

Steve Perry's summer was way better than yours. If you could combine ten of your most awesome summers with a Snoop Dogg music video and sprinkle in a generous helping of LSD, it still would not compare to even a day of Steve Perry's summer. Steve kicked off the season with a trip to the wilds of Africa in which he wrestled a pack of lions--for fun. He then went on to be honored as chief of a remote African tribe, nursed an orphaned tiger cub (yes, you read that right) and did, in fact, trip on a bit of LSD under the wide open African night sky in which the stars twinkled like diamonds. When he got back stateside, he took a few ladies up to his love lair, held his annual Fourth of July bash, rehabilitated a handicapped baby dolphin (which now resides in his personal aquarium, by the way--its name is Sherrie) and saw Journey live in concert, just to see if he was missing anything (he wasn't). Oh, and he also experienced ten of your most awesome summers combined, made a cameo in a Snoop Dogg music video and did another round of LSD. With Snoop Dogg. And Sherrie. The baby dolphin, not Sherrie Swafford.

So...what did you do this summer?

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