GASP! WHAT?! WHY?! Why are you trying to scare me and it isn't even Halloween! you may be thinking. Well, I'll tell ya: I was recently pondering this very thing myself, almost shat myself out of fear, and had to tell someone else about it. Look at it as a kind of therapy. For me.
Oh, the horror of a world without Steve Perry! Can you imagine? First of all, Journey wouldn't exist. Well, okay, so it would still exist, but it would probably be the weird, progressive, jazz-influenced band it used to be before Steve Perry joined in all his tight pants wearin', shiny man-hair possessin' glory. There would be no Faithfully. No Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'. No--double gasp!--Don't Stop Believin'!
CAN YOU IMAGINE A WORLD SANS DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'? What would be played at sports games to hype up the crowd and unite the people? What would be played at bars that would cause mass sing-alongs to erupt and people to go from being complete strangers to being BFFs in the span of four minutes? What song would have been played on the Sopranos' series finale? I'm sorry, but We Are the Champions just doesn't have the same panache as Don't Stop Believin'. I don't care if it was on The Mighty Ducks.
Okay, this nightmare ends now. I'm scaring myself all over again, and am very close to shitting my pants. Thank god this is only something that would happen in The Twilight Zone.